When you know, you know. This applies to bad vibes about bad friends, indigestion and, most of all, the man you plan on spending the rest of your life with. However, what do you do when he’s not making the move to make an honest woman out of you? Are you going to hope he keeps catching the hints you’re dropping, or are you going to actually take action?
Make sure you’re on the right page
First of all, you might love him and be entirely compatible and want to seal the deal as soon as possible. Before you do that, however, you need to check yourself and, more importantly, you need to check how compatible you really are ahead of time. Before you completely make up your mind, you need to have a few important conversations as shown at Psychology Today. You need to talk about how you’re managing money together, any plans for a family in the future, how you resolve disputes together, and more. Make sure that you’re both on the same page about the major stuff to prevent a marriage of arguments.
Have the big talk
Of course, aside from the conversations mentioned above, it’s worth mentioning that you shouldn’t neglect that one important question. Would they like to get engaged to you? Too much focus is put on being “surprised” by a proposal when, in reality, both parties are going to feel a lot better about commitment to each other when you are able to make the decision mutually.
Be willing to help
Even if you’ve already had the “I’m ready to get engaged” conversation, there’s a lot of pressure on the guy to make sure that it all goes perfectly. Most of the time, the onus is still on them to choose the place, to set up the perfect scene, to choose the ring, and more. If you think your guy isn’t all that great at the big gestures or might simply be nervous about getting wrong, you can offer to help. Talking about picking out designer engagement rings from Whiteflash together rather than making him decide for himself. There’s no need to pile extra pressure onto such a big moment.
Do it yourself
If you’re really antsy to get the relationship moving, you can always follow in the example of other women and propose yourself. You need to really know your man and know that he’s in it for the long haul. There are some guys who aren’t going to react well to traditional gender norms being bucked, but you should already have a good idea of whether or not your guy is like that. It can still feel nerve-wracking and risky, but that’s the case for any proposal, no matter how obvious the answer will be.
You don’t have to do the entire proposal yourself if you want to catch that man of yours. However, there’s no point in sitting and waiting for that question. Don’t put the need to show commitment entirely on one side of the other. Make it a mutual decision.